A slow day at the Coal Face

August 31st

Today is a slow day. The database is down due to constant ORA-03113 errors, and sometimes 12152 errors. I don’t know what they are but it means we get to work late nights and weekends til the end of the project. If any of you know what these errors are I’m sure the DBA’s would love to know!

As it is so slow I thought I’d list my favourite words of wisdom and other such irrelevant things

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.


Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity…probably has a scapegoat.

TEAMWORK…means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

Succeed in spite of management.


  1. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  2. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  3. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  4. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
  5. If you haven’t much education you must use your brain.
  6. Who gossips to you will gossip of you.
  7. When someone says, “Do you want my opinion?” – it’s always a negative one.
  8. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
  9. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.


He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest

Wherever you go; there you are


  • This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  • Can I trade this job for what’s behind door 1?
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  • Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
  • No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  • I Haven’t Lost My Mind – It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
  • Aim Low; Reach Your Goals; Avoid Disappointment.